The name Nathanael became significant to us just before our little baby reached the six weeks gestation mark.
Here is part of our story:
I had been going in for blood tests every other day so that our specialist could monitor the change in hCG (hCG is a hormone produced by pregnancy, actually the one that triggers a positive pregnancy test. In general, the levels will double every 48-72 hours in early pregnancy.) The first week or so, everything was looking great, and then the levels stopped rising as significantly as they would have liked. The nurses were quick to say that it could mean nothing; a normal pregnancy may have low hCG levels and still result in a perfectly healthy baby. We tried not to make too much of it. With our prior three losses, we were preparing ourselves for the possibility of having to accept another one. We simply tried to trust God with the outcome and find peace and reassurance in His goodness and sovereignty in it all. We had a weekend trip to visit friends and family in Erie and Detroit planned, so we scheduled an ultrasound for the day we returned - just short of 6 weeks - and hit the road. Our first day traveling, the nausea began, and we celebrated this good sign with friends and family. It gave us hope that the pregnancy was progressing as normal.
And we started dreaming about names again.
We saw a movie in Detroit with a main character by the name of Nathanael. Greg leaned over to me and said he really liked that name. I agreed. Later that night, I looked up the meaning online and was stunned to find out it comes from the Hebrew and means "God has given" or "gift of God". I was sold, and Greg wasn't too far behind me. We had no idea if the little baby growing inside me was male or female or even if it would survive much longer, but from that point on, I was quite convinced we were having a little boy who would be known as Nathanael -- God has given.
A sidenote: You may be curious about the spelling of Nathanael. This is the way you'll see it in the Gospel of John (the transliteration of the Greek), and we also like that it's not quite as common (though more so than other spellings) as the English version, Nathaniel. Oh, and it only took us three months to make THAT decision! haha
His middle name, Alim, is a name used in Turkey (originally Arabic) and means "man of learning; scholar, wise". Most of you know that Greg and I met, dated, and became engaged in Turkey. The place (really the relationships we have from there) holds great significance to us, and we wanted our son to know of this significance. We scoured Turkish names, looking for the right name -- our criteria: (1) easy enough for non Turks to pronounce, (2) sounds good with Nathanael King, and (3) a meaning worth giving our son. I carried around a list of ten names that were possibilities, and we eventually both ended up liking Alim the best. It is pronounced like the commonly known name "Ali" as in Muhammad Ali, but with an "m" at the end, Ah-leem'.
Nathanael Alim King, we eagerly await your arrival!
Showing posts with label Pregnancy Loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pregnancy Loss. Show all posts
2.07.2010
10.07.2009
13 weeks down, 26+/- to go
We've been bursting to tell everyone, and we've finally made it to 13 weeks today! We're joyfully and hopefully expecting our first little baby boy or girl mid-April!
It has been quite a journey getting to this point, and though it was full of pain and much loss, we are so thankful for how the Lord has used the journey to conform us more to His image. We do not deserve this Life He gives, but we gratefully receive it as His gift of grace. Greg and I continue to pray that He will prepare us for this huge change and that He will enable us to show His love to this little one. We covet your prayers for and with us as we await our baby's arrival.
Because of our three prior losses, we were monitored closely during the first eight weeks, so we were able to have two ultrasounds very early on to see and measure the heartbeat and size. It was absolutely amazing to watch the tiny little dark spot on the screen pulsing with life.
We'll hopefully know whether it's a boy or girl just before Thanksgiving -- let us know what you think; vote in our poll on our blog!
It has been quite a journey getting to this point, and though it was full of pain and much loss, we are so thankful for how the Lord has used the journey to conform us more to His image. We do not deserve this Life He gives, but we gratefully receive it as His gift of grace. Greg and I continue to pray that He will prepare us for this huge change and that He will enable us to show His love to this little one. We covet your prayers for and with us as we await our baby's arrival.
Because of our three prior losses, we were monitored closely during the first eight weeks, so we were able to have two ultrasounds very early on to see and measure the heartbeat and size. It was absolutely amazing to watch the tiny little dark spot on the screen pulsing with life.
We'll hopefully know whether it's a boy or girl just before Thanksgiving -- let us know what you think; vote in our poll on our blog!
11.26.2008
More of Our Story
I cannot thank everyone enough for your comments and emails over the last two days. Your support brought (and continues to bring) needed encouragement to my potentially difficult uneventful day.
Since we’re sharing, may I tell you a couple stories from this journey we’ve been on over the past few months? Maybe it will be encouraging to some of you who have or are walking a similar journey as us. There are so many of us…
My fight to hope (excerpts from my journal…)
“Today was the day. The pregnancy test gave us the exciting news. The question running through our hearts and minds now is whether or not we'll make it past the first few weeks. Two months ago, I miscarried at the end of week four (or five depending on how you count it). I know this is common (1 in 3 pregnancies?), but it was extremely difficult to swallow. I know I am high risk; I've been charting for ten months. Still, it doesn't lessen the sadness. Yet God was amazingly gracious in providing us with comfort and peace and even joy (rooted in faith in Him) through the mourning. Now we simply pray and wait again...and wonder whether this is His timing...or not.”
A couple days later… “With my first pregnancy, I miscarried the evening of the day I had a positive pregnancy test. It was one of the most difficult days of my life. Quite the rollercoaster of emotions. (I had "known" I was pregnant for about a week before the positive test and suspected it the entire time.) I was thankful for Greg, a couple friends, and my parents who loved on me while I cried and tried to take in everything that had happened. It's amazing to go through an entire day and now TWO entire days knowing that God is forming our little one inside of me. I am immensely thankful for these two days. I plead with my Father to let this little one survive through the next 8 months and live to open its eyes and see its parents one day, but I trust God's timing. His plan is perfect. It cannot be thwarted. I rejoice in His constancy and find great joy and peace in resting in His will.”
A few more days later… “I recognize that we still have a high risk of miscarriage at this point. I have gone back and forth about how to handle it, and in the end, I've decided to live with hope instead of dread or anxiety or fear. I have faith in God's provision, and I have faith in His plan. And I am hoping that it includes our little one making it into my arms one day. If not, well then, our Father will walk with us through that time. Now is a time of rejoicing and taking care of this little one.”
A few more days later… “My beloved son or daughter, You left me today. This is a reality of which I am consciously aware, yet my heart stubbornly refuses to accept. I had a week longer to dream about you than our first little one. Your daddy and I made our first prenatal appointments; we found out at which hospital you would have been delivered. We began talking about possible names for you… You were such a delight to us for the past couple of weeks. I am thankful to have been your home for these few weeks... How do I go on, Lord? How can I endure this again? How can I continue to hope after a second loss so great? What did my hope gain other than greater heartache? I know what it gained...greater joy. And peace. And faith. And love. Even through this short amount of time being a mother, you allowed me to know You more and You conformed me ever more to Your image. I imagine, Lord, that much is yet to come as I process and begin a new page… I don't know how to take the next step… Father, be my Light, my Guide, my Strength, my Path, my Joy, my Shepherd, my Shield, my Life. Please teach me how, once again, to mourn the death of another little child of mine.”
A few days after our miscarriage, Greg offered to have a little memorial and symbolic burial in our nearby reservation. I cannot express how healing this was for me, I think for both of us actually. We found a secluded place, dug a little hole, and buried two little symbols of the children we have lost this year. Greg said some words about our journey, prayed for us, and we said goodbye to our unborn little ones.
What a testimony of the Lord’s faithfulness that just two and a half weeks later I find myself at a place where I can say (or at least try to say) to God: “Thank You that I can move into the future non-defensively, with hands outstretched to whatever lies ahead, for You hold the future and You will always be with me.”
Thanks for walking with us.
Since we’re sharing, may I tell you a couple stories from this journey we’ve been on over the past few months? Maybe it will be encouraging to some of you who have or are walking a similar journey as us. There are so many of us…
My fight to hope (excerpts from my journal…)
“Today was the day. The pregnancy test gave us the exciting news. The question running through our hearts and minds now is whether or not we'll make it past the first few weeks. Two months ago, I miscarried at the end of week four (or five depending on how you count it). I know this is common (1 in 3 pregnancies?), but it was extremely difficult to swallow. I know I am high risk; I've been charting for ten months. Still, it doesn't lessen the sadness. Yet God was amazingly gracious in providing us with comfort and peace and even joy (rooted in faith in Him) through the mourning. Now we simply pray and wait again...and wonder whether this is His timing...or not.”
A couple days later… “With my first pregnancy, I miscarried the evening of the day I had a positive pregnancy test. It was one of the most difficult days of my life. Quite the rollercoaster of emotions. (I had "known" I was pregnant for about a week before the positive test and suspected it the entire time.) I was thankful for Greg, a couple friends, and my parents who loved on me while I cried and tried to take in everything that had happened. It's amazing to go through an entire day and now TWO entire days knowing that God is forming our little one inside of me. I am immensely thankful for these two days. I plead with my Father to let this little one survive through the next 8 months and live to open its eyes and see its parents one day, but I trust God's timing. His plan is perfect. It cannot be thwarted. I rejoice in His constancy and find great joy and peace in resting in His will.”
A few more days later… “I recognize that we still have a high risk of miscarriage at this point. I have gone back and forth about how to handle it, and in the end, I've decided to live with hope instead of dread or anxiety or fear. I have faith in God's provision, and I have faith in His plan. And I am hoping that it includes our little one making it into my arms one day. If not, well then, our Father will walk with us through that time. Now is a time of rejoicing and taking care of this little one.”
A few more days later… “My beloved son or daughter, You left me today. This is a reality of which I am consciously aware, yet my heart stubbornly refuses to accept. I had a week longer to dream about you than our first little one. Your daddy and I made our first prenatal appointments; we found out at which hospital you would have been delivered. We began talking about possible names for you… You were such a delight to us for the past couple of weeks. I am thankful to have been your home for these few weeks... How do I go on, Lord? How can I endure this again? How can I continue to hope after a second loss so great? What did my hope gain other than greater heartache? I know what it gained...greater joy. And peace. And faith. And love. Even through this short amount of time being a mother, you allowed me to know You more and You conformed me ever more to Your image. I imagine, Lord, that much is yet to come as I process and begin a new page… I don't know how to take the next step… Father, be my Light, my Guide, my Strength, my Path, my Joy, my Shepherd, my Shield, my Life. Please teach me how, once again, to mourn the death of another little child of mine.”
A few days after our miscarriage, Greg offered to have a little memorial and symbolic burial in our nearby reservation. I cannot express how healing this was for me, I think for both of us actually. We found a secluded place, dug a little hole, and buried two little symbols of the children we have lost this year. Greg said some words about our journey, prayed for us, and we said goodbye to our unborn little ones.
What a testimony of the Lord’s faithfulness that just two and a half weeks later I find myself at a place where I can say (or at least try to say) to God: “Thank You that I can move into the future non-defensively, with hands outstretched to whatever lies ahead, for You hold the future and You will always be with me.”
Thanks for walking with us.
11.24.2008
With hands outstretched to whatever lies ahead
Greg and I were scheduled to have our first prenatal visit this morning -- meet our doctor and nurses, be overwhelmed with information about pregnancy and childbirth, and hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time. We were so excited to share with everyone at Thanksgiving that we were going to be parents. But then two weeks ago, we miscarried. It's been an interesting journey for us to walk, one we've been privileged to invite a few people into over the past two weeks, including our families and our church community group. We're thankful for their support and presence as it has not been easy.
I was not originally planning to share this with our blogging community until I read something this morning that made me realize that I simply had to share this with you all. I’ve mentioned previously that I am in a Bible study with two other ladies from my church. We recently completed our Beth Moore study on the tabernacle, and we started a month-long study walking through the book “31 Days of Praise” by Ruth Myers. I was so blessed to begin this study a few days after Greg and I received our sad news; it is exactly where God needs me to focus my heart for this month.
So here were some of the words from Ruth’s prayer this morning (pulled and compiled from various Bible verses): “…I praise You for Your sovereignty over the broad events of my life and over the details. With You, nothing is accidental, nothing is incidental, and no experience is wasted. You hold in Your own power my breath of life and all my destiny. And every trial that You allow to happen is a platform on which You reveal Yourself, showing Your love and power, both to me and to others looking on. Thank You that I can move into the future non-defensively, with hands outstretched to whatever lies ahead, for You hold the future and You will always be with me, even to my old age…and through all eternity.”
That is how I desire my life to be positioned – with hands outstretched to whatever lies ahead, seeing every trial as an opportunity to know and show God’s love and power in my life.
“Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.” 2 Thessalonians 2:17
I was not originally planning to share this with our blogging community until I read something this morning that made me realize that I simply had to share this with you all. I’ve mentioned previously that I am in a Bible study with two other ladies from my church. We recently completed our Beth Moore study on the tabernacle, and we started a month-long study walking through the book “31 Days of Praise” by Ruth Myers. I was so blessed to begin this study a few days after Greg and I received our sad news; it is exactly where God needs me to focus my heart for this month.
So here were some of the words from Ruth’s prayer this morning (pulled and compiled from various Bible verses): “…I praise You for Your sovereignty over the broad events of my life and over the details. With You, nothing is accidental, nothing is incidental, and no experience is wasted. You hold in Your own power my breath of life and all my destiny. And every trial that You allow to happen is a platform on which You reveal Yourself, showing Your love and power, both to me and to others looking on. Thank You that I can move into the future non-defensively, with hands outstretched to whatever lies ahead, for You hold the future and You will always be with me, even to my old age…and through all eternity.”
That is how I desire my life to be positioned – with hands outstretched to whatever lies ahead, seeing every trial as an opportunity to know and show God’s love and power in my life.
“Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.” 2 Thessalonians 2:17
9.11.2008
Where I have been the last few weeks...
O LORD, You have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before, and lay Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. Where shall I go from Your Spirit? Or where shall I Flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, You are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me. If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night," even the darkness is not dark to You, the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with You.
For You formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them.
How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with You...
Oh that You would slay the wicked, O God! O men of blood, depart from me! They speak against You with malicious intent; Your enemies take Your Name in vain! Do I not hate those who hate You, O LORD? And do I not loathe those who rise up against You? I hate them with complete hatred; I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!
From Psalm 139 and deep within my heart...
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