Saturday thoughts

I woke up this morning depressed, had two nightmares that left me numb. Definitely not a fun way to begin a Saturday. Greg let me sleep most of the afternoon - I just couldn't kick the numbness. While making a couple meals this evening, I was thinking pretty seriously about where I am in life. I asked our community group to pray for me a couple weeks ago concerning my struggle with accepting the sacrifices marriage is requiring of me right now. Granted, it's not anything huge compared to the suffering of Christians around the world, but it's still not easy for me to accept with joy right now. I'd been told by many experienced ministry wives that being a seminary wife is an extremely difficult role, but I think I was surprised when it started hitting me hard after the new year and a year and a half into the role. It's a season of waiting and postponing for me...and for Greg too really. He's doing something he's dreamed of doing for a while - being in seminary - but it's really for the purpose of what comes after seminary. So he's having to wait (in a sense) as well. For me though, I struggle with having to wait to make a family, having to wait to be able to pursue teaching English (whether that is pursuing a masters or a teaching position or both), having to wait to be able to give a good chunk of my life to people (instead of my job), having to wait to pursue dreams and passions because I'm overwhelmed with the necessities of my job, our home, our finances, etc... Don't get me wrong, I am blessed to have the job I do. I love serving my co-workers in Tufts Career Services. Being an administrative assistant is no glamorous job, but it allows me to pour my life into serving others - my co-workers - by hopefully making their work lives a little easier and less stressful. All this to say that I'm struggling to be content with this season of my life. Hmm, do you see a trend? Anywho, would love you prayers and encouragement. I'm so thankful for Greg and his love and acceptance of me through my struggles. Pray for him to keep showing me grace - I'm so in need of it...

Don't forget to change your clocks tonight!